I’ve been waffling on posting things in my personal life to my comic blog, or creating a portfolio site with a blog attached to it and dumping it there, or whatever.

I have this Tumblr - I may as well make some use of it. Instead of it being like a sketchbook, I think it’s going to be like a journal of sorts. A place to put random stuff that I can’t fit into neat little boxes. This is now my spot for ‘odds and ends.’

So - with that out of the way, here’s some randomness for you.

Losing weight: At Christmas I ballooned to 185 lbs. Fatty-fat-fat! Considering I’m supposed to be around 160, carrying around a spare tire has really sucked in all departments. Since my b-day on Jan 3 I’ve lost 17 lbs and I’m down to about 168. Still have 8 lbs to go, but I’ve been feeling pretty good about it.

The key is portion control. Make your meals smaller. Use smaller plates, only put a serving the size of your fist on the plate.

Then eat less processed crap and drink more water. Ever since I cut out juice and drinks with sugar in it, my weight dropped quickly. The hardest part now is reducing the amount of carbs I intake. I love bread. I’m the son and a grandson of bakers - I’m used to grains… it’s my lifeblood and my poison.

My wife and I bought a treadmill - I strive to use it 3 times a week. But most of the time it ends up being 2 or less. So long as you get some regular exercise that elevates your heart rate, you’re in good shape. Yesterday I ran for 45 minutes. I thought I’d feel like a bag of shit today, but I feel awesome - and I slept better. Trust me, the first few times you do it, it sucks! You feel sore, tired and you wonder what it’s all for.

Then you wake up one morning after a hard work out and you feel awesome. Energized. Refreshed. And THAT is what makes it worth it. Today is one of those days.

Goodbye Facebook

I dunno if it has anything to do with me watching the Social Network, but I suddenly gathered the courage to do the unthinkable; I deleted my Facebook account. After 6 years of wall posts, friend requests and comments, I grew tired of the little game and decided to cut the cord.

Why did I do it? Lack of value.

You see - I spend more time creating comics, writing, planning creative concepts, etc. Now, I don’t feel the need to be tethered to a social network anymore. It was nice to reconnect with some old friends, but that novelty wore off quick. Then it was nice to peek into friends lives, and that lost its lustre. Play little games, waste time chatting and commenting on photos and status updates and other gossip.

The key word there is waste time.

I was a Facebook junkie for a while and I cut it out of my work routine. Guess what - my productivity climbed. Even though I’m online all day from 8am to 4pm, I get more work done quicker because I’m not spending time creeping.

Says the guy writing on his Tumblr… but I digress.

When I cut FB out of my day and only used it at night, I found I was checking it out on an infrequent basis and realized its not that important to begin with. Then I got an iPad and I slowly started getting sucked back into a daily pattern of checking my FB after dinner. Last night I decided I wanted it to stop. So I did it. I had talked about it for a while and I know that I have outlived its usefulness. It has no relevance in my life whatsoever anymore.

COMICS!

I’m approaching a year since I ponied up the money and gathered the necessary balls to create my first webcomic online. The actual date of birth was April 1st, but I shelved the comic and rebooted it on Dec. 6th. Very few people know that I started in April, and thankfully I learned a lot in those short months to get my head on straight and get into more of a professional state of mind when it comes to the comic’s execution.

I finally found a way to bridge the gap between speed and quality, and get the realism I had been hoping for. Now I’m on my way to redoing some of the panels on the pages I’ve already done, yet still sticking to the 3x week schedule. I’ve never felt so prepared and so motivated in a while. It’s great.

Now that El Cuervo is rolling along, I’m toying with the idea of putting out a cartoon strip - a huge difference from a noir Graphic Novel. I need to expand my horizons, and I think I may have a decent idea that will be appealing to a lot of folks in Canada. Something they can relate to. I’ll post more about it as I get closer to a refined product. All I can tell you is, I’m truly excited about it again.

Artistic Endeavours

I went out and bought some paintbrushes. I told my wife that I wanted to get into doing some small watercolor paintings but never did anything about it. I bought a huge book on technique, and this past weekend I bought the brushes. Now that the weather is getting better, I may build myself a small easel, plant it on the deck outside and get started. As soon as this damn snow disappears.

I’ve also got an itch to make some small miniatures out of clay, just for kicks. I’ll try my hand at sculpting - something I was never good at in College.

The Baby Maker

My wife and I have been trying for almost 4 years now, and we’ve made the big jump to IVF. It isn’t a big surprise as we’ve talked about it for a few years now. The time has come and the procedure is set in motion. I just gave my wife an injection yesterday - I still can’t believe this is going to happen. I hope that it does happen, because she’s suffered long enough, wanting to be a mother for so long.

I’m okay with it either way - that’s usually the case for men. They’d like to have kids, but if it doesn’t happen they wont be devastated. Much different for women.

Friends of ours went through the same procedure with success. Now we’re hoping the same luck will befall us. With a 50% chance, I’d say the odds are pretty good.

Conclusion:

I’m not going to guarantee more frequent updates - but I would like to post more frequently. It’s not like I have a ton of followers to keep updated - this is for my own sanity. Maybe I’ll just keep it spontaneous and post when the mood strikes me - like right now.

I started this Tumblr last year around this time as a place to showcase some of my work. I had some other pursuits like my webcomic (El Cuervo) and my continued writing for my tutorial blog (idrawdigital.)

Over 365 days later, I’ve rebooted the comic and scaled down on the blog posts to the point where I send out link posts once a month showcasing various webcomics I like. One of these days I’ll get back to doing proper blogs, once my schedule for El Cuervo has reached a comfortable position. Right now, I’ve gone back and forth from periodic updates per week, to a single multi-page update, and now back to 3x a week.

The reboot came from my dissatisfaction with the art of the first chapter and parts of the second. I talked about how I wanted El Cuervo to be somewhat photorealistic, but it was far too time consuming. I settled on a more cartoony style, which looked visually appealing, but ended up not really creating the noir feeling I was hoping to capture.

Now, I’ve found a nice balance between quality and frequency of updates. I’ve also switched my workflow around, so everything is done completely in vector! That is an absolute bonus when it comes time for print. The main drawback is that I’m going back and redoing all 90+ pages, so it will be a while before any new El Cuervo moments happen on screen.

At the time of this writing, I am approximately 2 weeks ahead on my buffer of pages, something I haven’t had since I first started. I was playing catch up ever since March Break when I went to Florida with my wife, and I have never been able to get back to a comfortable comic buffer since. It got worse when I started with the 5 page weekly updates. There was no way I could ever get ahead, since I was making 5 pages each week which I barely had time for as it was.

This reboot gave me the excuse to tighten up the narrative and to really improve the visuals. I’m a lot happier with the way things are rolling now with the comic.

In about 2.5 days I’ll be on Christmas break - having dinners with family and friends, relaxing with my wife and our mutts and hopefully working on some more comic related stuff. I hope I’ll be able to get in some time to create a couple of blog posts for idrawdigital, as new content for that site has been sorely lacking. I really wanted to do a tutorial book, but I feel like I should probably cement myself as a credible webcomic artist first before I continue to harp on about how you should go about doing things.

Anyway - have a Merry Christmas and a relaxing holiday season. See you in a few.

I’ve quickly realized that I don’t post here as often as I probably should. This is supposed to be my personal blog, a place where I can vent, share, bestow pride and gloat all at the same time - yet, seven months ago (from the time of this writing) I stopped.

I was in a different mindset. I had a bunch of things circling around my head like a planetary system, and me at the center, had nowhere to go but stand there and watch as they buzzed about. I think it was the motionless thing that bothered me most - I enjoyed being any one of those spinning planets - moving forwards and coming back and starting the trip anew. Then, I felt like I was the focal point and everything seemed to be passing by.

What a difference half a year makes.

In that time - I started El Cuervo, a noir webcomic with some strong influences from Frank Miller and Tim Bradstreet. It’s something I’ve wanted to pursue for a long time, and so far it’s been fun. I set an ambitious goal of 5 pages per week, released as a single episode. Let me tell you, that has been tough. Scripting, sourcing reference images, drawing, lettering and maintaining the website - then there’s the promotion aspect.

It’s heavy duty - and time consuming. But I enjoy it, and it has been a good pursuit. Some days, it feels like work - but I think it is because I’ve never set a solid routine for doing updates. I started with a twice a week single page update, and I found the story just moved way too slowly. I lost a lot of readers from the onset because the story was too new and there wasn’t enough development.

Now I’m 3 chapters in, 85 pages through the first book, and we’re going places. We have characters with a bit of depth and history - but we’re still in a feeling out process for our protagonist. Do we trust him or not? Is he genuine or is he just trying to save his own ass?

These are the things I’m worrying about as I’m writing - if there’s going to be enough depth? Right now, everything is playing out like an action movie - superficial and going through the motions. And it’s only because it NEEDS to be like that in order to have the defining moments of depth later on.

As for everything else in my life right now - well…

The chances of my wife and I having kids are slim again and put on hold. Surgery and some big life altering decisions are on the way for next year. This being her 30th year, she’s really not enamored with the prospect of 2011 starting with the biggest unachieved goal hanging above her head like a guillotine blade.

My work life is good - I helped my mother in law get a job and a car in the same month. She works hard and deserves better, so I do what I can to make that happen. That sort of good behavior tends to come back to you with good fortune. I’m not expecting anything in return, but its funny to see how that seems to work.

We adopted a new puppy who is almost a year old. He’s a blessing and a curse all at the same time. But a lovable animal is 100s of times better than a life without anyone or anything to care for.

Speaking of adoption, we’re on the ‘short-list’ for adoption in our area, now that we’ve completed all the mandatory training and interview sessions. So if all else fails with our own process for having kids, we can look forward to that - how slim those chances may be for placement.

On a brighter note, Christmas is coming, which is my favorite time of year to get together with family and friends and enjoy some much needed time off. After last year’s debacle, this year appears to be promising.

As for promises, I hope to keep some - including writing to this journal more often.

Work is beckoning. I must heed the call.

Life has a real funny way of showing you it loves you by treating you miserably and showing back up at your doorstep with flowers and apologies. It can be an abusive relationship at times, and you stick it out because you feel trapped. Now before you start thinking I’m going to end it all because the burdens of life are getting me down, that’s NOT what I mean in the slightest. In fact, I’m the total opposite of that - I’m pretty upbeat and positive. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by the work, and I really want to get all of this done so I can move forward.

I am building a highway, and there’s a huge rock I need to blast out of the way and clear out before I can continue. Right now, I’m clearing stuff out. Which is why I have to neglect my own personal hobbies to focus on other parts of my life.

Point One: My Family. My wife and I have been trying for over two years to have a child. I feel helpless in that regard because I’m completely healthy, and from the diagnosis of my wife, everything ‘appears’ fine. But there’s obviously something going on that’s not allowing us to conceive. So we’ve been running around trying to make something work - clinics, drugs etc. I hate it. Not because of the inconvenience of it all - that’s merely annoying - it’s the fact that there’s nothing I can do to FIX things. That’s what I do - FIX stuff that’s broken. It’s a frustrating journey, and it’s made life very stressful for the past 2 years. Anyway, we’ve come to a crossroads that if this major procedure doesn’t work in the summer, we are going to just move forward with our lives and enjoy iy the best way we know how - travel and a change of scenery.

Point Two: My Job. Some days I feel really motivated, and others I feel apathetic. Right now, I’m totally motivated, but there’s a huge mountain I need to get out of the way before I can move on to bigger and better things. I’d like to become more organized and efficient like I was when I first started in this position. I remember how scared I was because it was a management type role and I needed to be organized and on top of things and more proactive(ugh, hate that buzzword, but it applies). The anxiety of not knowing how to handle things was exciting and new. Once that wore off and I settled into a solid role and the company was doing well, I started to slack. Now, I’m finding myself trying to get out of that hole of slack and back into a forward march. Perhaps the nice spring weather will help.

Point Three: My blog. I love it and I want to continue doing it - but at times I’m feeling like it’s not doing enough. Then I check my stats on a whim and I see that it’s grown in traffic, popularity and interest, so it motivates me to continue on. Then it makes me feel guilty for not being more consistent. That needs to change as well. I have a planner set up with the posts I want to write that will take me into the summer (3 posts a week) but I’ve fallen behind due to points one and two on this list. Once I can get some closure on some of the elements in points one and two, this area in my life will significantly improve. I have a vision of this (and other blogging ideas) becoming a full time gig eventually, but I need to be able to dedicate the time to do it. I can’t do that with all the outside distractions.

Point Four: My Comics. Yeah, its been like 10+ years in the making, and it’s finally coming around to seeing the light of day. I want this to be a consistent release over the course of its creation - but its tough to be consistent when your life isn’t. It’s not going to stop me from setting up something that will allow me to create a batch and release things automatically. I just need to get some of these other things done and open up space for this commitment. I’ve always seemed to throw my personal pursuits on the backburner to FIX other things. I have to FIX myself now - I think I’ve earned it. Anyway, El Cuervo is rolling along now that I’ve given up on other frivolous pursuits like gaming, etc.

Point Five: My health. I’m 33 years old, and I look and feel like shit - that is the great UN-motivator, when you’re too lazy to pursue any goals because you feel terrible. I’ve vowed to get back into some semblance of shape again, since I am now teetering on the brink of being in the worst shape since the early 2000s when I noticed my sedentary lifestyle was no longer going to be supported by a good metabolism. I had to work to stay in good shape. I owe it to myself to get into a better state of health - I DO eat very well (plenty of greens and healthy options) and I think that has been my saving grace for the last 2 years - now, I need to take the extra step and increase my overall endurance, stamina and strength and get rid of the jello I’m wasting away into.

Point Six: My other hobbies. I have a whole pile of other things I’d like to work on - I wanted to create and possibly sell some art (paintings, etc). I also have some renovations I want to pursue, and I’d like to build a few things for a sense of personal accomplishment - a rod hockey and a foosball table, a dart board cabinet, a small classic arcade system, and so on. There’s an old vanity my wife’s gran gave to her that I’d like to sand down and refinish as a gift to her. Again, these things take time - but it doesn’t mean I’m going to give up on them. They just have to go near the bottom of the list.

And there you have it. I’m a busy guy. Perhaps I need to keep busy in order to keep sane? I have o problems being lazy and sitting around and putting things off for another day - but its like I need that list of things to eventually get to so I have goals…

El Cuervo studies

The Archer - unfinished

An old test panel for El C.

A panel from Project 442 (discontinued)

Newer stuff to come…

At least, that’s how my mom used to put it. Every time I’d be playing, making a shit load of racket, breaking stuff, making someone cry, etc. the minute there was silence, she’d rush to where I currently was because I had figured out that in order to do something ‘bad’ I had to be sneaky about it. Being sneaky generally means being quiet.

So I’ve been quiet. But THIS time I haven’t been getting into trouble. I’ve been productive. My blog has been coming together nicely, and I’ve finally come up with some strategies to make it more efficient. I’ve developed a posting structure for each week, instead of the standard ‘post by the seat of my pants’ routine I’ve come to despise. It’s pretty bad when you love your blog, but dread blogging on a scheduled day, because you haven’t planned it out and HAVE to put something out to keep a level of consistency.

I’ve got the consistency down, but the content wasn’t 100% planned. I’m ashamed to admit that. Well, that’s a thing of the past. Now I have a schedule with plenty of stuff to do with a routine posting frequency. I’m pumped.

Oh yeah. I did some other stuff too. Like comics!

The revisions to El Cuervo are working out just dandy. I’m working some mechanics out on the site, and it’s looking pretty good. I’m not going to jinx anything by offering a release date, but its going to happen on schedule. (Hey look! More scheduling)

Oh, and I made this for my wife for her birthday.

Its a drawing of our beloved dog, Coco. I didn’t get in finished in time to present to her at Christmas, seeing as I had a family portrait and that Venice sketch to do. She was still super happy to get it, so I know the wait was worth it.

Sorry for the lack of updates in the comic saga. I figured out how to skirt the Grendel issue. The more I look at the story, the less it mirrors Grendel, so I’m not too worried about that.

I did however, change the title. I wanted to keep my character’s name, but after additional research, I’ve made some alterations to that as well.

For now, the series is going to be known as El Cuervo y La Paloma (roughly: The Raven & The Dove) and instead of referring to my assassin as El Diablo, he’ll be known as El Cuervo. It was an idea I was toying with for another series, but the connections to the characters within will work with some modifications.

Have you ever worked on something for a long time, then think you had an original idea, only to realize that your idea was already successful elsewhere in the same genre, and you feel like an idiot because you SHOULD have known about it.

You also don’t want to run the risk of looking unoriginal, but you also don’t want to run the risk of looking ignorant either.

So this webcomic thingy I’ve been working on? Yeah. Guess what. Parallels to the Grendel series by Matt Wagner.

Yeah, I’ve heard of the Grendel, but never really got into it too much. I went ahead and did the synopsis of TDH and ran it past a good friend of mine. He liked it, and then proceeded to tell me that it was reminiscent of the Grendel series.

- Assassin? Check.
- Referred to as the Devil? Check.
- Story Arcs feature the word Devil in the title? Check.
- Lead character’s name is Eddie? Check.

My reaction? Seriously?

For. Fuck’s. Sake.

So its off to plan B. My story isn’t anywhere near Grendel in terms of ideas - just the superficial stuff like titling and some elements. But its enough to put people off, so it looks like I’m going to have to go with some other options I had been throwing about and refining those after some careful research. No sense beating a dead horse with the name, especially if you’re trying to bust out with an idea of your own, and have some Captain Obvious tell you its a Grendel rip off. When really it’s not.

It’s an honest mistake. I’ve never read any Grendel material - but the similarities are too much to overcome. Sit tight - I’m going to change things slightly.

I’ve been wrenching on my site (idrawdigital) for a little while now. I’ve been finding that the traffic has been relatively steady, but people seem to check it out, say “hmm that’s pretty cool.’ and then take off, never to return.

I need to change that. I can make all the tutorials and how to guides I want, but if there’s nothing compelling to keep people coming back, it’s a bit of a waste. So I’ve been working like a mechanic, hoping to kill it in the future. By ‘it’ I mean readership. And by killing, I mean impressing them.

Visually, the site was lacking - for a comic book tute site - comics are a VISUAL medium. Instead it looked like a textbook. Now I’ve decided to include an image header with each post, so the article snippets have a fancy image to go along with the post. I’ve also cut down the post size on the main page, since some of my tutes were pretty lengthy and you had to scroll pretty far in order to find the next post for discussion. That probably put a lot of people off.

I should know all of this stuff already - and I did. I just didn’t implement it properly. But thats what happens when you spread yourself thin. At least on this tumblr blog I can just mess around, show off and be done with it. Its not meant to be anything groundbreaking or influential. A lot of hard work isn’t necessary to keep this thing rolling, because its personal. Over there, at idrawdigital - its all business (in a sense.) More work needs to be dedicated to making the experience better.

I hope it works. :)

… or is that typed until they bled? Either way, I’ve been putting some notes together for that book I want to put out this month, featuring some of my tutorials from idrawdigital. Basically I’m giving it away for free, to see how many people are actually interested in what I’ve had to say.

I’ve realized that I’ve been at this blogging thing for over a year. I’d like to think somebody out there is getting some value out of what I’ve been sharing from my brain meats. Eventually I’d like to take it one step further and develop a nice package for people to purchase, and a training course and a membership site to hang out at and learn stuff…

I like to teach, and I’m a ham in front of the cam, so maybe that will end up being my next step - video tutorials. Anyway, right now I’m at the stage where I’m pumping out routine tutorials, writing this book, and we’ll see where it goes when it comes time to develop a list. I’d absolutely love for this to turn into something of worth - both for me and the students.

I’m calling the book “Drawing Digital Comics.” I’ll let you know how it turns out when I get closer.